Strife and Rooting for the Other Guy

I only heard about stuff like  this when I talked about my situation.  It's apparently happened to others, and it's apparently common.   I suppose then, that at least some of this is common, but much of it isn't.  In fact, the causal forces aren't common at all.

In my new circle, my wife's son's wife is highly critical of my wife.   This woman acts like an intruder and I've NEVER heard of a daughter-in-law insulting her mother-in-law like this.  Some people are mean, and the meanest of them all get away with it because the meanness is so beyond any comfort level that intimidation is the weapon chamber that launches its cruelty.

Well, I've got my life earnings on this creature meeting her match at last.  How this vile person got through high school without being beaten to death by her female peers is beyond me.  How she's even in a relationship, let alone a marriage, is beyond me.  Something terrible must have happened to this person--that, or she's vile because she inherited this nasty trait.  I've met her mother and it's clearly not the mom.   While the mom almost certainly didn't control her daughter enough, some people can't be controlled--at least by love or nurturing or care or anything.

Anything, that is, except the 'fire with fire' principle.  It's no longer ok for her to abuse people.  It's no longer ok, at least, for this woman to abuse my wife.   I'll get singular and counterattack.  I'll get singular and present to this person that it'll be in her interest, from this instant 'til the remainder of her life (with us, anyway), to NOT attack my wife or me anymore.

I pinned her ears back once, but she came back with a blame strategy to make appearances that I started a squabble.  I'm neatly estranged from her and her husband, and both relish this condition, and it has an outward appearance (to all except for this small circle) that this is just normal. 

It's not normal, though.  It's not normal at all.

Trust

Here this is about my eighth post but I'm pretty sure I'll keep this one.  

In all the turmoil the thing I haven't been doing enough of is my examination of myself and my behavior.   Another is of Renae's kindness and how she unwittingly got torn asunder by all of this darkness.   All I ever needed to know lays beside me at night--when we're able to lie together, that is.  She only wants me to be calm, and that's the gift that a woman brings a man.   The man has to be bright enough and open enough to see it and feel it.  Then, if he's humble enough and not pigheaded enough, he can take time to thank her.

My mind, altered at times from the magnifying manifestation of bipolar 1, sometimes erupts in inner fury and the outrages that has happened.  I'll think it all a coordinated attack, supported by Renae.  It's none of that, though, and calm's my friend.  With calm comes reason.  With reason comes love's message, and the love's message inside of me, there the whole time, can come back out and be itself.

Can I hold it?  Well, no.  I'll relapse into this horror as the legacy of THE WORST treatment I've ever suffered.  I simply have to remember that Renae's suffered too, trapped between her kids and her husband's inexorable pain that her kids unleashed upon him.

The solution, then?  Trust.  She's said many times that this will all blow over, and therapists continually tell us that 'living well' is the best mastery of the evil that all of this fear is based upon.  Peace and reconciliation may come in the form of some sort of rescue--I think that juncture is ahead for our young people...her son will eventually need some form of rescue.  All the early signs are there, and not many guys recognize it like I can.  I'll be there, and this may be a defining moment in itself, the true reconciliation I have yearned for off and on.

I choose to trust Renae, because not only is it an obvious choice, but because the mere glance at her proves her grace and sincerity.  I can't believe she's so understanding, but then again, I'm stubborn and prone not to believe a lot of things.   Not only do I have no other choice, I have no better choice.  She's the most beautiful woman I've ever had.  

Skype Gizmos that Make the World Better

man!  i can buy the Skype gizmo and web-cam Nathaniel in Afghanistan!   

The phone companies didn't like the Skype dudes--they worked out of Lithuania or someplace.  

They knew what we now know....we can web-cam conversations with people on the web, and TO HELL WITH THE LONG DISTANCE COMPANIES!!!!

:)

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Adobe Photoshop Elements 6

I like to mess around with the photo enhancement application Adobe Photoshop Elements occasionally.  It's VERY technical, but I figure I can learn about photo enhancement as well as learn the other tools that come with the huge program.

I once found that the 'stock photos' that come with it are extraordinary, but there's an much greater number of photos to be had on the Web.   I like to post photos on blog posts--this blog's as easy as my other one to do so.

Back to Photoshop Elements..it's HARDER THAN HELL to figure out.  I've had it for a long time and only once was I able to access my iPhoto pictures into Photoshop's edit modes.  As I have warned would-be users before, one MUST be an advanced PC/Mac user AND MUST be an advanced photo image artist.  Otherwise, you're wasting your $80 (Mac) and this economy is too tight for any of us to toss around money like that.

Instead, simply use iPhoto, which is what I should have done to begin with.   That's what I get for browsing the Apple Store!  Caveat emptor to me, and that's that on that.